Rayden pack your bags your going to your Cousins house’ Mum screamed from the deck I could just hear Mum say ‘YES’ then I screamed ‘YES’ at the top of my lungs.
As I was waiting for my cousin to come to my house I played Madden (NFL) 2009 with my favourite team, The Steelers. The reason I like them is because of Troy Polamalu, I think hes the best player on the field he is a great interceptor and tackler.
After I played about 5 games my nan got to my house. As quick as I could ran to the door and opened it and my nan ran up to the door and greeted me with a big hug. I waited for about an 1hour while Mum and Nan gossip .
Still waiting to because of all the traffic arrive at my cousin’s house in Glen Field. I finally got to his house I sated for 1 week unfortunately he got sick and went to my nan’s house I was cousin lease for 3 week’s.
Hey Rayden
ReplyDeleteI like your story and yeah Troy Polamalu is a great player. You like NFL dont you. I like the bit when you shout YES when your going to go to your cousins. He must be cool
Keep up the good work Rayden
Matthew
Hey Rayden
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me like you really look up to your cousin, I have a particular cousin that I look up to as well. I enjoyed reading your story.
Bailey
Hey Ray
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice piece of writing it would of been fun playing Madden but to sort of be honest im not the biggest fan of the Steelers I sort of reckon that the Rams are sort of better.
Just work on your writing so that people will be able to understand it better and your fullstops and paragraphs it would be the coolest story.
Cruz
Hey Rayden,
ReplyDeleteIm from Dr. Strange's EDM 310 class at the University of South Alabama. I love holidays too! Some people ask me why I think going over to my cousins house is so much fun, but all I have to say to them is that it is better than staying at home by myself. I like the Steelers too! So what do you think you will do next holiday to make it even better?
Paige
Hi Rayden!
ReplyDeleteI really like your fabulous story! In Maddan, I'm not a fan os the STEELERS, I'm a fan of the GREEN PACKERS!!! I've heard of TROY POLAMALU before and once I saw him do a massive hit! Anyway, I liked your story. You must of felt sad when your cousin was sick! Anyway, next time try to put in the punctuation and edit it more. Other than that, AWESOME! Keep up the good work!
God Bless You.
From your Good friend Joshua.!
Hi Rayden,
ReplyDeleteYou told me heaps about your cousin and it sounds it would have been boring without your cousin!!! Just like how I feel when my cousins not around, infact his birthday is this week ( April 2nd)
Tanielu